Kumdo

The most exciting thing I have been doing as of late is that I started taking Kumdo lessons. Some of you may have heard of the Japanese equivalent which is called Kendo (of course the Korean version is far superior). Kumdo is a traditional Korean sword fighting that I classify as a cross between fencing and Tae Kwon Do.

There’s no use in doing anything half-a$$ed so I have signed up for 1-2 hour lessons every Monday to Friday. I have been taking lessons for about a month and I have my own bamboo sword now. We are still just learning the steps involved and hitting dummies but I hope to be cracking people over the head sometime soon.

Also I am learning Korean when I take lessons because my instructor barely knows English. About the worst thing of it is that everyday we do a ceremony at the end where we have to kneel and sit on our feet in the traditional Korean way. My body is not made to do this and its kind of sad that the most pain I get from my swordfighting lessons is from sitting on my feet.

Same, Same but Different, Different

It is only a few months back when I first got to this Land of the Morning Calm. I was in a new country with a new language and everything was so exciting and well, New. I remember being so excited about doing the simplest things, like "oh wow, I just bought something from a Korean store" or " I just ordered at a restaurant". A lot of those novelties have worn off and just as we get into our daily routines in Canada, I feel I've sort of got into a routine here. I feel like I haven't been doing anything too exciting as of late.





I made a trek down to Ulsan where one of my buddies from the U of A is teaching. I got to ride on the KTX, which is Korea's high speed train. I never did find out how fast it actually went because when I asked my students they simply told me that it 'goes just as fast as any train in Japan' (everything here is compared to Japan.) Anyways, it did not really seem to be going very fast so I hope that Japanese trains are indeed faster or the state of the world's rail technology really sucks :)





Ulsan and the country on the way there were typically Korea. Just small mountains and cities full of apartments wherever you looked. To be honest, I've seen this scene enough that I slept for the majority of the train ride. Anyways we had a good trip and it is always nice to see a familiar face.

Nick, Me (obviously the most excited to be in Ulsan), Laura and Tara

Speaking of familiar faces, I have not become one in Korea yet. Im still just as much a novelty as when I first got here. For example, I got on the subway at the same time as a gorgeous Korean girl today but the whole car seated across from us were not looking at her, they were looking at me!

A cute letter

They had to write letters in one of my coworkers class this week and one of my students gave this to me afterwards. It is more authentic in person but I thought it was quite cute:

"Deer Clark

Hello
My name is Clark (J.r) too.
We are have a same name!
But you are men! Im boy. It is
diffrent.

I'm sorry, because I don't
have many speak. I don't have
what I want to say. I don't have
a idea Sorry
bye

from Clark j.r"

I feel special because this little boy(about 9 or 10 years old) who used to be named Eddy changed his name to Clark Jr. Upon hearing this, one of my students told me that he was changing his name to Junior Clark. I told him that this was too confusing and he should just stick with David.

Why do I feel extra special? Well I have only been teaching for 4 months and I have already had two kids try to change their name to my name. On the other hand, my mom and my auntie have been teaching for around 20 years and I have never once heard of any students trying to change their names to Penny or Pat. :) Too bad.

This letter is now posted on my fridge next to Kevin's writing assignment. Here is my favourite excerpt from that paper:

"I'm very very fat and go to W Academy. I like ham, computer game and soccer."

Without even knowing Kevin, I guess it is obvious that Kevin likes ham a little more than soccer. Truth be told he is a little big but not too fat!

Top ten things I don’t like about Korea

10. Hot water is not “on-demand”. Can you imagine how many cold showers I have taken because I was a little groggy and forgot to turn on the switch?\

9. The price of beef. I am quite carnivorous so you can imagine how hard hamburger at $15/lb must be on a bank account.

8. Koreans are not very big fans of NASCAR and there is no Korean equivalent. Unfortunately this has led to all of the people who would have been professional race car drivers, having to drive the country’s buses and taxicabs. I do not often fear for my life when they are driving but on many occasions I have started to feel a little sick to my stomach from all the speedy turns and gas-brake driving.

7. The fact that the highest denomination of money is the equivalent of a $10 bill. My wallet was fat enough from all my cards without needing a huge wad of cash, thank you very much. (Surprisingly, this country runs on cash. Barely use interact or credit cards over here).

6. Everything in Korea is just for show: -Parents put their kids in schools with foreign teachers so that they can brag to their friends about it. –Parents feel that if their kids do not have a tremendous amount of homework, they are not learning. –Report card marks are ridiculously high because parents believe it is a bad school unless their kids get at least 80.

5. The pollution. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I left Seoul and got a taste of what air is actually like.

4. People spitting all the time, no matter where they are. I actually don’t mind the spitting but the deep-lung horking that goes along with it is just too much.

3. How much pressure Korean parents put on their children. Sadly, I have had several young children in my classes who do not come for a month because they are too stressed (and I don’t blame them). The Koreans even refer to it is as “stress leave.” Don’t they see something wrong with this picture?

2. How retarded these people are when it comes to people of other races. Part of it is that they have not been exposed to other races like we have and part of it is that many Koreans are brought up to believe that their people are the smartest, richest and best-looking in the world. It really makes me appreciate the multiculturalism we have back home. On a side note: I get asked at least 3 times a day “Teacher, why is your hair golden?” or a favorite of mine is “If Greg Teacher and you are both from Canada, why is his hair brown and yours is gold?” Rest assured, I have started to come up with some good answers…. ;)

1. The smell. I thought I would get used to it but at this point I don’t think that is possible. It is always a lurking menace that sometimes goes almost unnoticed but the next thing you know the smell jumps out at you and you think that you must be walking in the world’s biggest landfill.

Top ten things I like about Korea

I can't believe I have been here for 3 1/2 months!!! Over the last week I have started to compile my thoughts into a top ten list. People always ask what is the same, what is different and what I like and dislike. This is the first installment in my Letterman inspired series, so you will have to stay tuned to find out the "Top ten things I dislike" and the "Top ten things that are the same". Here goes:

10. Hot water is not “on-demand”. You must hit a switch to turn your hot water on. This is very energy efficient because there is not a huge tank of water constantly being heated in your empty house.

9. Many bars and nightclubs are open 24 hours a day. I have taken advantage of this on too many occasions. Please note: this is a little dangerous :) Plus you can drink booze on the streets, which is fun.

8. Major recycling. They have collections in front of every apartment for cardboard/paper, plastics, bottles, and compost. One of my coworkers got in trouble because he put some cardboard in with his trash, which his landlord found and traced back to his apartment through the address on an envelope that was also in the garbage bag. She proceeded to scold him for his negligence, to the point that he was scared to ever do it again.

7. Almost everything you need is at your fingertips. Most stores are mom and pop operations so you get excellent service and they remember your face (even if it is only because you are a foreigner). Plus I have about four 7-11s within a 10 minute walk which is quite convenient. 7-11s have everything, including groceries, Korean style fast food and beer.

6. I often see teenaged Koreans holding their grandparents or parents hand in public. At first, it looked sort of strange but when I thought about it I realized that it is nice that this is not something that would hurt your “image” in Korea or even if it was, the Koreans do not seem to care. They seem to have a great respect for their elders, which I think is enviable.

5. The ease of living without a car. I have no wheels in Korea but I do not miss having a car at all. They have an awesome public transportation system, with subway and bus stops all over the city (and country, for that matter).

4. This country is trying very hard to promote English as a second language. As a result, things such as street signs, subway signs and maps, and many store signs are printed in both English and Korean. This has definitely been a pleasant surprise for me.

3. I feel safe wherever I am, no matter what time of day it is. There is not a big problem with crime in Korea and it is amazing to see shopkeepers leave stuff outside overnight and not having to worry about it being stolen

2. The weather. I am not going to lie to you, I am enjoying the fact that as of today(November 14), the coldest it has gotten in Seoul is -1 but it is still usually getting to a high of 15 during the day.

And the number one thing I like about Korea....

1. The majority of the food is fantastic…kimchi, galbi, and bulgogi are right up there with steak, spaghetti and tacos in my yummy books. Sundae is not.

Hiking

I went hiking with the people from work this weekend. We went to Gwanak mountain which is just on the outskirts of Seoul by Seoul National University. Hiking is popular in Korea and the mountain was full of Koreans of every age, shape and size making the trek to the top. It was the weekend so sometimes the paths were fairly crowded. There is nothing like climbing a mountain with 3000 of your closest friends. Not the peaceful and serene picture we usually associate with mountains but there were still some fairly beautiful views to be had.

We made it to the top of the mountain in about 2 hours. The path was fairly easy with not too many steep parts. It got a little sketchy at the top but all of us (except one Korean) ventured to the peak and touched the Korean flag at the top. As you can see from the picture below, there was a lot of people just hanging out at the top of the mountain. Most of them bring food and if they were old enough they would do a shot of soju (Korean rice vodka) at the top.

We took a different path to the bottom, which was not nearly as crowded so that was good. Afterwards we went out for a late lunch and since we did not have any soju on the mountain, we made up for it in the restaurant. Notice all the plates on the table in the picture below? That is typical for a Korean meal. Each plate has a different side dish in it. In the centre is the main course of the meal - galbi (Korean BBQ'd pork). (Cathy-my boss, me, Eric, Jeremy and Andy.)

Halloween!!!

Have you ever wondered why Halloween is celebrated?


I have never figured out what the actual event is celebrating, but for me it is a time to haul out a black marker and give myself a really wicked 'stache. I can't actually remember the last time I didn't have a moustache for Halloween but my memory is limited to this year and last :)

We had our Halloween party at school on Monday and Tuesday which was fun. They don't really celebrate Halloween in Korea so unfortunately not many of the kids dressed up. The school, however, rented costumes for all of the teachers and bought some decorations and candy. The kids were not really big on saying "Trick or Treat" and instead "Give me candy" was much more popular. I was worried they were going to get a bit sugar wired but they were not too hyper.

Some of my coworkers (Eric, You Hee, Andy, Minny, Me and Jasmine)

As for teachers costumes, I was a pirate, Andy was Elvis and Eric was a jailbird. The costume selection we had was a little scant so we did the best we could (and I of course needed to select something that would allow me to take a little jiffy to my lip). The costumes were actually really good and I think the school forked out a fair hunk of change for them. The kids loved that we were dressed up but I think the whole concept was a little lost on them because about 10 students told me that we must all be crazy. It was sort of weird being in the classroom and being the only one dressed up so two days of that was more than enough.

Daniel wearing a vampire cape but looking more like a hutterite

Soccer Night in Korea

I went down to Suwon for a Korean soccer match last weekend (my friend, Tara, lives there and her coworkers who we went to the game with are much cooler than my coworkers). The game was between Suwon Bluewings and Seongnam, which are two teams in the K-League (the best league in Korea). The game was awesome and the fact that we were right behind a bunch of crazy fans with gigantic flags that blocked our view for most of the game only seemed to improve the experience. I'd never been to a soccer game before but I'll go back in a heartbeat. It is much more exciting than watching on TV - I guess being around all those other fans makes it better. I don't even live in Suwon and I was going crazy when they scored so I think I should stay away from British soccer where they tend to get violent...

In the end, Suwon came out victorious and won the game 3-0!

Us "whiteys" got our picture taken with a bunch of Koreans after the game (I'm in the front row on the left/centre):

After the game we went off to a place for galbi which is basically some beef or pork strips cooked on a Korean BBQ. They make you look after cooking the meat which some people think adds to the experience but I think it is just work that I should not have to deal with :) In the end though, I guess it pays off because it is delicious and you can say to yourself "I am a good cook." Then we headed to a Noraebang, which is a Korean karaoke room. You book a certain amount of time and then you have a room to yourself where you can sing your little heart out (English music of course). The Noraebang was absolutely fantastic, with 3 minor exceptions as noted (please read with a high level of facetiousness):

A. The videos on the TV didn't match the song you were singing

B. There was a very noticeable echo, all singing therefore was incomprehensible

C. All the songs cut off when you were only half way done

For those of you who know how well I sing, you know I need all the help I can get and in that regard this place just didn't cut it....!

FOR MORE PICTURES OF THE SOCCER MATCH, click here

Kim Jung Il/The Dear Leader/The Big Kimmer

Well as you all have heard, Kim Jung Il tested his nuclear weapons a couple of days ago. We all knew he was crazy and most people expected it to happen sooner or later, I guess I was just lucky enough to be here when it happened. Whats the mood in the South???

A lot of my older students bring it up in class so I talk to them about it because it is sort of interesting to hear what kids think (you know half of it is just ad verbatim from their parents.) One girl told me that I should be worried about dying but she would be OK because she would be on a plane to America as soon as anything bad happened. I did not have the heart to tell her that my country is famous for its amazing mass evacuation abilities (think Lebanon :). Most other students just settled on telling me how they were scared and that the Big Kimmer was crazy.

As for me, I am not really worried at all. Generally, everything is the same here as it was yesterday. I have been following it all fairly closely and I think if you are informed enough you will realize that I, nor any one else in South Korea, is in any grave danger. For starters, just because they tested a weapon does not mean that they can actually use it. In fact, most people think that it will take about 10 years before the North Koreans will have the ability to use a nuclear device as a weapon. By that time I plan to be far, far away from this peninsula!!! My biggest worry is actually not Kim Jung Il but instead it is George Bush. Is this man rational enough to realize that you can't just go starting wars all over the world? If George decides to attack, I still count on having quite a bit of warning of it (remember Iraq) and will be able to get out. In the end though, I think even Bush for all his feeble-mindedness is smart enough to know better than to start another war right now. And from the way things have been going so far it is looking like Bush may actually be starting to show his first sign of human intelligence on this issue.

Chusok - Korean Thanksgiving

I finally learned how to read Korean over the last few weeks. It is actually not that hard, but you do need to try and I guess up to this point I didn't even try. For the first few days after I learned to read, whenever I walked some where I would take twice as long as usual because I would have to read every sign. That novelty has worn off now but the next step I guess will be to learn what the words actually mean. Right now, I can read but it's like Italian or Spanish- just because you can read it, doesn't mean you know what the words mean. (picture above left: The changing of the guard at Gyeongbokgung Palace)

I had most of last week off for Korean Thanksgiving which is called Chusok. Apparently this is a big time to travel to other countries and I tried last minute to get a trip to Thailand but it was not to be so I was left here in Korea.

On Wednesday I went to Gyeongbokgung Palace, which is the palace grounds for the Joseon Dynasty which ruled Korea for about 500 years until Japan took over the country in 1910. I made it just in time to catch the changing of the guard. It was a little slow so I made my way inside the grounds and toured around a bit. Pretty amazing seeing all of the old buildings and especially the paintings inside the building-amazing to think how they painted all of that stuff by hand. (picture above right: The Kings Throne at Gyeongbokgung Palace. The mats to left and right are where the workers would kneel and take notes of what the King had said. The paintings in this room were all done by hand, but you can't really appreciate this fully just from a picture)

On Thursday, I headed to Incheon, which is on the west coast and caught a ferry to Deukjeukdo which is a quiet little island about an hour away. It was nice to be away from all those people. The Koreans on the island were so friendly too. I think they were mostly farmers and then catered to the tourist business as well. Probably only about 200-300 people on the island from my guess. Originally, I was only planning to be there for a day but I found out the joys of being on an island include the fact that you can't just catch a cab back to your house. I ended up missing the last bus back to the ferry dock and had to get a hotel room. Not that I really minded. The beach, the mountains and the views were all spectacular. (picture above right: the beach on Deukjeukdo. Most Koreans beaches, including Daechon, do not have sand like this one but rather are more like mud)

The next day, was the biggest day of Chusok but I was resolved not to get trapped on this island for another day (I was supposed to meet some friends in Seoul.) I waited for the bus but it didn't appear to be coming so I made up my mind to just walk to Jinri pier. As I started walking, I noticed a sign that said it was only 8km so that was not too bad, but mostly up and down hills. On the walk there however a man stopped in his truck and I understood enough Korean to know he was headed to Jinri pier too so I hopped in. On the way he offered me some of the grapes he had in his lunch and then when we got there, he gave me the whole bunch. Considering how much fruit costs here, I thought this was really nice (plus everything was closed for the holiday so I was hungry). Some of the Koreans are so friendly! I ended up catching the ferry back and making it back before my friends showed up to my apartment so it all worked out well. (picture above left: a view from the top of Bijobong, the islands highest peak, looking down to the ocean and townsite below)

I Survived The Fandeath!!!!

I was talking to a guy the other day about all the funny t-shirts they have in Korea and he told me that he wished they had one that said "I survived The Fandeath" I had no idea what this meant so I inquired and the details that followed can only be described as pure gold.

Out of all the wild things I have heard in Korea (and possibly in my life) this one definately takes the cake. What is Fandeath??? Please read on....

Basically, it amounts to this: Koreans have a belief that if you fall asleep in a room with the doors and windows closed and an electric fan on, you will inevitably perish. This phenomenom is known as Fandeath. Koreans even claim to have scientific evidence that Fandeath is real. Apparently the fan will suck all of the oxygen right out of your body and you will become just another statistic....literally. Korean newspapers actually report on the amount of "Fandeaths" in a given year. Apparently just last year, 83 people succumbed to Fandeath and as such they have that listed as the Cause of Death on their Death Certificates.

Isn't it alarming that in this day and age, with all our modern conveniences, people are still dying due to something as reckless and careless as Fandeath? I for one am outraged. I feel like starting a petition or holding a protest or something..."Stop Fandeath Now!!!" If you are interested in helping out, I hope you will support my yet to be created internet campaign to force all fan manufacturers to apply warning labels to their fans. It's only the right thing to do. Let's seize the day. Think of all the lives we could save!

Speaking of warnings, I was out for breakfast with a few people this morning and one of the girls mentioned that her boss had warned her about the dangers of the Fan. I was a little hurt and somewhat upset to think that my boss was not even decent enough to warn me about this serious threat to my existence. Thank god, for my sake, I now know what can happen.

---------

OK seriously now....if you don't believe me on all this, check out http://www.fandeath.net/ Here are some funny quotes on the internet from other foreign teachers:

" Fandeath is hilarious. it was getting hot in one of the class-rooms yesterday and i asked one of the kids to open the door. he ignored me. i saw the fan on in the corner of the room and i said, "quick! open the door, the fan is on! look!" three kids jumped out of their seats to open the door while the others yelled at them panic-stricken."

"The evil fan is monstrously running rampant in korea, ever ready to prey upon the unsuspecting victim. I arrived in my classroom just in time last week to resuscitate a near-comatose middle schooler, dozing off in front of one of these malevolent devices. I darted over and switched off the deadly device before administering first aid."

pretty funny stuff eh?

clark

You got questions, I got answers...

If you ever have a question for me, just add it to the comments at the bottom of the posting or fire me off an email and I will gladly answer it.

My Uncle asked me some questions the other day and I realized I should have answered them before so I thought I might as well answer them here in case you might have the same questions:

1. The 'Kimchi' in Kimchi Express is referring to Korea's national dish. Kimchi is served with pretty well every meal I have ever had at a Korean restaurant and tonight I actually had two different kinds of kimchi (one was the usual cabbage and the other was cucumber). Basically kimchi is a sort of pickled vegetable that is spiced up with a hot red pepper sauce. More on kimchi? Click here. And if you were wondering the 'Express' is simply to make it sound like a newspaper. Korean Expresss was too boring....

2. The significance of the title 'Soon to be a Millionaire' is that I am now a multi-millionaire. You can all refer to me as 'Sir' now, thank you very much! Kidding aside, the post was made just before my first paycheck which came in Korean Won (their currency; sounds like 'on' with a 'w' in front) and a million won equals about $900 Canadian. That means that I am making millions but unfortunately I realized that I am spending millions too!

Korea and Mexico...long lost twins?

In my last post I was writing about my trip to the Korean Folk Village. I forgot to mention that when I was there and was watching the Koreans do their little dances and tricks on the horses, I couldn't help but think of some of my previous visits to Mexico and watching similiar types of shows there. The performers looked the same, with their dark skin and colorful costumes and the crowd even had similiar reactions as I remember from the Mexican shows (raucious cheering and awwing at everything).

Well the other day, I was supplied with one more shred of evidence that Korea and Mexico are not so different... It was a regular Thursday and I showed up to work 15 minutes early, as I always do. I went into the Teacher's Room (which has all of our desks, books and supplies) only to find that I could not even get to my desk because now there was a portable chalkboard and 4 student desks plopped right in the middle of the room. Furthermore, all of the teacher's desks had been completely cleared of books, papers and anything else we might have. I didn't get too excited about all this because you just never know what to expect in Korea so I knew there would be some sort of crazy explanation.

I went and asked the school director what had happened and he explained how the government was sending "auditors" to come see our school. Apparently when our school filed its papers with the government authorities, it claimed every room we have on our floor was a classroom. This meant that the lunch room and the tiny storage room were also "converted" to classrooms for the day! The only problem is that we don't have enough teachers to fill all of the regular classrooms plus the new additions so several of the regular classrooms were empty. I guess the auditors here are maybe not that smart if they couldn't figure this one out. The Academic Director of the school seemed real stressed out about all of this and at the end of the day one of my coworkers asked her if she was going to have to go to jail. She just sighed. You gotta love corruption! As far as I can figure, there must be some kind of financial/tax incentive to having more school rooms. Why else would you lie about that?

One more Mexican similiarity - most stores in Korea operate on a barter system similiar to Mexico. Even when you are buying clothes in lots of the departments stores, you still haggle on the price with the person behind the counter. I know that I am not good at this but I am getting better. In my opinion, this system is a good way for them to screw us Waygooks (foreigners) out of our money. Fortunately, they aren't nearly as pushy as their Mexican cousins and don't try to entice you into their stores with claims of "Korean Kmart", "Real Prada" etc...

I remember a quote from a European we met in Mexico who said that "if you looked up 'liar' in the dictionary, it would have a picture of a Mexican" and sometimes I also think that a picture of Korean wouldn't be so bad either;)

Terry Fox and Korean Folk Village

I guess it has been over a week since I last posted so it is about time! I managed to make it to the Terry Fox run despite having only a few hours of sleep (less than 5 but more than 3). It seems all night partying and jogging are not a good mix and the friend I was to go there with didn't feel up to all this activity so early in the morning. When I talked to him, he was still in bed and didn't seem too anxious to get up anytime soon so I was solo for the morning - is he a wimp or just smarter...you decide. Anyhow, there were about 2800 participants there and I'm sure there were a lot more once you count the people that did not participate. It was about a 50/50 split between Koreans and non-Koreans. I managed to do all right during the actual 10km run, but boy was I sore afterwards. It seems that 10km is a little excessive when you have not moved your body like that in at least 5 years. I was glad I did it though and it was neat to hear the Canadian national anthem being played in Korea.

(picture below: a typical home you would have found about 100 years ago in rural Korea)



This past weekend, a couple of us went to the Korean Folk Village in Suwon (about 1.5 hours south of Seoul). It was modelled after an old Korean village that you would have found 100's of years ago. I liked looking at the old houses and learning about olden days Korea - for instance how they made paper and silk and how they housed their prisoners. One thing I found particulary funny is how if children wet their bed, they had to wear a hat and go to their neighbours and beg for salt in order to show that they wouldn't do it again. I put on the hat and got a picture taken, but I will let you know that this was just for fun and I didn't actually wet the bed that night....

(picture above: me with my Ki Winnow on, getting ready to go get some salt.)

All Koreans make the peace sign when they get their pictures taken so expect a lot of pictures where I might be doing that ;)

You can find more of my pictures that I have uploaded to the internet by clicking Korean Folk Village and Fukuoka, Japan

Soon to be a millionaire!!!

Annyeong Haseo!

Well another week passed and a few more thoughts to write down.... We are well into September now and I must make comment on how significantly the weather has changed from August. Someone told me that they have very abrupt season changes and I can attest to that. August was humid, somewhat rainy and hot (all day and night). The minute the calendar switched to September though, everything seemed to change. The nights have been cooling off and sometimes so much so that I even need a jacket. The days do not get near as hot and the humidity is not even noticeable most days. It is quite comfortable now. Welcome to Autumn in Seoul!

I have been rollerblading often as of late and managed to make it to Hangang (Han River) Park a couple of times this week. I can get there right from my apartment without any climbs (not too mention that there is not many of those potential disasters known as down slopes). You will all be happy to know that the Koreans have not been able to laugh at the crazy Westerner who tumbled all the way to the Hangang (not yet anyways!) I bladed to the 63 building which is the tallest building in Seoul and back home which is about a 4-5 km journey. All this exercise is not without a purpose---I have to build up my stamina for the Terry Fox Run this Sunday! For some strange reason I have signed up for the 10km run rather than the 5km run/walk. It made sense at the time but now I have started thinking about the inevitability of an old man who really upshows me, laps me 3 times and takes an enormous bite out of my pride :( The Terry Fox Run is one of the biggest Canadian events in Korea and I am really looking forward to participating in this Canuck tradition.

Last but not least I have a few funny things from my students this week. I am sure any teacher can tell stories about funny, yet totally conceivable mistakes that their students make. One that got a laugh out of me was when I was marking a little girls writing and it didn't take me long too notice that her story had become quite X-rated. For the writing was to be about her country, Korea, and the little girl somehow had forgot that 'country' had two vowels and not just one. You can see how this might play out when you say things like how much you "love your country." Another student was to write about Birthdays and he thought a valuable piece of information would be to tell about what he would like for his next birthday. A novel idea, indeed. Unfortunately, this little boy has a habit of getting his d's and his b's mixed up, so when I saw that he made this mistake when writing about how he "hoped he would get a new bike", I knew the story was about to take a real turn.

Maybe I have a twisted sense of humour? Not sure if any other teachers can relate to this but I sometimes get a very "I am alone" sort of feeling, despite being in a classroom filled with children. For starters, I can't have an adult conversation with them and secondly, even if I could they don't speak my language. I guess I deal with it by letting my sense of humour search out things where I can have a good ol' laugh with myself...

Til next time,
CB

The Name Game

Ever wondered how an Asian/foreigner picks their English name?

The reason I bring this up is that one of my students, named Julie, put up her hand in class today and told me that she wanted to change her name. I didn't want her to do this because I like the name Julie but I allowed it because in the end it is her name. (Truth be told I was also a little worried she was going to change it to Sarah or Jenny. You have no idea how popular these names are here. In one class we are up to Sarah4 and a class without at least one Jenny is unheard of). Well what did little Julie want to change her name to.......wait for it.....it is beautiful....OK, enough suspense... ESTHER! Now please tell me you know any Esther's under 80 (or even any that are still among the living for that matter)? I sure don't. I actually had to stop myself from laughing out loud at this and all class whenever I looked at her I couldn't help but thinking about hip replacements and the Golden Girls. I guess it is not a far stretch from all the other old person names the kids have: Eunice, Joe, Cathy etc... or the totally bizarre names like Everton.

Speaking of funny name changes, two girls changed their names today to Paris and Nicole (Hilton and Ritchie, I'm sure). Wonder if they have any idea how stupid these two Americans are? I asked their teacher if they were friends and he said, "Best friends," so I guess they probably don't know that the real-life due has gone Splitsville. Also today, one of my kids, Tony, told me he was changing his name to Lampard after the British soccer player (Frank Lampard). I refused.

Before I came to Korea, my cousin told me about one of her friends who quite enjoyed naming his students because he gave them lovely names....like Beavis. Although I think this is hilarious, I don't quite have the heart to do it myself. Also we don't have many really young kids so by the time they get to our school, the majority already have names, however, there is the odd exception. My first naming experience came on Monday and it was sort of exciting! I was picking a word that this person would be called by for the rest of her life (at least in English class). I thought long and hard and the girl reminded me of a friend from school so I chose the nice, modern name of Amber (also this is unique to the school). Later on I found out that this is similar to a bad Korean word (amburro) and so she had decided to go with Nancy instead. Ah well....at least its not another Esther!

The Magic Blankets and a 6 year old Fight

In my opinion, no blog about Korea is complete without at least mentioning Magic Blankets. How did they come to be known as Magic Blankets? Well I'm not sure anyone else calls them this but what else would you call a blanket that can do everything??? I first noticed them when I was out walking in an area without a sidewalk....well at least not a concrete sidewalk. Instead the Koreans just plop down a few rainbow colored blankets and you can imagine how splendid the results must be. Next I noticed that there is a building being worked on/renovated right by house. Now during construction it often happens that debris from the building being worked on could fall the four feet it takes to reach the neighbour building and cause damage to it. Well that could happen in other countries but not to worry in Korea....they just put a few Magic Blankets between the buildings and create an instant impenetrable wall. I also had the joy of witnessing a little shanty town where the accommodations were made entirely of Magic Blankets. Apparently nothing provides shelter quite like a building made of blankets.

The list of things I have seen them used for goes on and on and I really do not have the time to write about all of them but I will let you know about a few more uses I have imagined for the blankets:
- Although I have not confirmed this event with my own eyes, from my experience I have no doubt that at the scenes of serious car accidents one of the first items of duty is to wrap the victims in Magic Blankets. Not only do the blankets have an amazing ability to soak up blood, they are also revered for their incredible healing powers ;)
-Also, I cannot wait to see the Korean Oscars to see them "roll out the Magic Blanket" in place of the red carpet. You may laugh at this but if you saw as many of them as I have you would believe it!

Since I am working at a children's school, one could assume that the 6 year old fight I referred to in the title would likely relate to some of my students. Unfortunately this is not the case. In fact the 6 year old fight didn't take place between 6 year olds at all but instead it was between a 30-ish year old couple on my floor. I have heard them absolutely screaming at each other some mornings (people talking in Asian tongues are often known for always sounding mad so you can imagine what they sound like when they actually are mad). Last weekend at about 6am the shit must have finally hit the fan because he locked her out of their apartment (#205), with himself inside. From the fact that she cried and screamed at the top of her lungs and banged her fist on the door for 45 minutes, I can only assume that she wanted back in.

How humiliating must it be for your 30 year old husband to lock you out of the house? I felt quite sorry for her but I guess I was the only one because another man on our floor came out and yelled something in Korean which I translated into "Shut the h*ll up woman, we are trying to sleep in here." She yelled back at him but eventually they reached peace and she sat on the steps of the apartment building and cried. He eventually let her back inside and from the sounds of it, it was Royal Rumble XXXV when she got back in. I am sure that in Canada, people would have likely phoned the police but for anyone who knows how traditional Korean society is and women's place on the social scale, it is easy to understand why this never happened. Women are far from equal here. I was discussing with a Korean woman at work about how many Western guys in Korea have Korean girlfriends but no Western girls have Korean boyfriends. I was not surprised to hear here tell me that the reason for this is that Korean men find Western women to be lazy and not subservient enough. On the flip side, Western men really like Korean girls because they are so subservient to their men.

Now only if that Korean woman had a Magic Blanket on hand when they got into the fight, things might have been a little different.....

A Korean Sundae

I had my first Korean sundae last night. Big deal, right??? But before you go getting some visions of a tasty little ice cream treat that you get at Dairy Queen, I should tell you there are a few differences between Canadian sundaes and their Korean counterparts. First off, the word is pronounced soon-day here -> somewhat of a minor difference, if you ask me.

Secondly and most importantly, the Korean sundae is light on ice cream and heavy on pig intestine. Truth be told, that is all that you get in a Korean sundae: a giant serving of pig intestines and just to mix it up they throw in some slices of lung and liver (their is no ice cream at all). Well the kids eat this stuff up like it actually was ice cream and they really wanted me to try it, so I did. How did it taste? Actually the sundae itself was OK but the lung and liver I could do without. I think the texture of the meat and just the thought of eating those parts was enough to make me not like it.

To reward myself for being so adventurous I went to my favorite new restaurant after class and ordered what amounts to a deep fried pork chop --- mmm, now that is a part of a pig I can handle eating!

Final verdict: Dairy Queen has got my buck ;)

Shopping

Seoul has incredible shopping for absolutely anything your little heart could desire. I travelled to Dongdaemun the other day and went inside some department stores that make the Bay seem like Kmart.

Yesterday I finally got my new cell phone. Only $80 for the phone (it is used) plus $11 for the charger and then a $1 discount - SO GENEROUS!!! A lady and a young guy sold it to me and when she asked how old I was and she found out 23 she got very excited because I was the same age as the other guy. Apparently in Korea this means you are friends. It happened once before where someone asked how old I was and then said that her coworker beside me in the store was my girlfriend because we were the same age. It must be easy for Seoul people to make friends. All they have to do is find someone the same age.

Today is the first day of the new semester which means much fewer hours. Only 5 today!!! Last month I worked about 9 hours each day and 6 on Friday but now I am down to 3 1/2 on Friday so that will be nice.

Starting to pick up the language a little. I can now say hello, good bye, yes, no, thank you and the names of a few foods I like. Don't need much more than this, do you...

Clark

Koreans - kids

Koreans are pretty cool for the most part. They all seem pretty friendly. They smile a lot when I see them because I guess that since I don't know Korean, that is all we can do...just look at each other and smile. Well they also stare at me quite a bit. Some people I know get quite bothered by it but I don't mind at all. They are especially enamoured whenever I where shorts and a short sleeve shirt because then they can see my body hair. The kids at school would be happy to sit and pet my arms all day long. I don't let them do this but sometimes they get a little heavy petting in when I turn my back and when I tell them to quit they look up at me and say "Hair so softa". It is sort of cute and slightly creepy. I know I cant complain too much because a girl I met who (dirty blonde hair) teaches kindergarten has a little girl in her class that licks her arm hair and says "Teachers hair golden". Guess sometimes touching it isn't quite enough and you actually have to put your tongue on it to get the full effect :)

For the most part the kids are just like kids anywhere else. They study much harder than kids back home. A typical high school students schedule is to start school at 8am, get done at 7 or 8pm and finally get to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning after 4 hours of homework. I am working at an Academy so I am teaching kids that have already spent their 6 1/2 hours in public school. Then they will have a few academies (maybe math, Korean, and English) and then finally make it home around 7 or 8. A teacher at my school said that in public school a good portion of the class sleeps through class because they are so tired from all their late nights. Since the classes have about 50 kids in them it is hard to stop anyone from sleeping. It is sort of sad to think that these kids spend so much time in school.

Clark

Daechon Beach

On the weekend of August 12, I had 4 days off so I decided to go somewhere outside of Seoul. I got some advice from other staff and eventually decided to head to Daechon Beach ( on the East coast about 2.5 hours from Seoul by train) for a weekend of fun in the sun. It was a Korean national holiday so many Koreans also decided to make the trek which meant space on the train was tight and I could only get standing room for most of the trip (by the way: standing space is a little compartment just outside the washroom area between cars).



Despite all this I did manage to see a bit of the Korean countryside which looked quite nice. They grow rice pretty well everywhere they can and then they fill in any small spots with potatoes and other vegetables (they will plant anywhere--- like 2 feet away from the train tracks on 1/2an ounce of soil! ) I also managed to meet a few other foreigners travelling to the same beach so I had some people to hang out with.The beach itself was not that impressive. There was not a whole lot of sand but it I enjoyed being able to relax. It was nice to dive in the ocean and cool off. Despite warnings that the water was a little dirty, the Koreans spent all day in it and appeared to come out relatively healthy.

At night they all went crazy over fireworks. The sky over the whole beach was lit up with crappy fireworks that made Clearwater Lake Store seem like a fireworks mecca (for anyone that has witnessed the Flaming Outhouse firework, imagine this x10). You would think being so close to China would mean that Korea had a little better supply but this is obviously not the case. Anyways all in all I had a great trip down and enjoyed being able to see a little bit of the country.

Clark