You got questions, I got answers...

If you ever have a question for me, just add it to the comments at the bottom of the posting or fire me off an email and I will gladly answer it.

My Uncle asked me some questions the other day and I realized I should have answered them before so I thought I might as well answer them here in case you might have the same questions:

1. The 'Kimchi' in Kimchi Express is referring to Korea's national dish. Kimchi is served with pretty well every meal I have ever had at a Korean restaurant and tonight I actually had two different kinds of kimchi (one was the usual cabbage and the other was cucumber). Basically kimchi is a sort of pickled vegetable that is spiced up with a hot red pepper sauce. More on kimchi? Click here. And if you were wondering the 'Express' is simply to make it sound like a newspaper. Korean Expresss was too boring....

2. The significance of the title 'Soon to be a Millionaire' is that I am now a multi-millionaire. You can all refer to me as 'Sir' now, thank you very much! Kidding aside, the post was made just before my first paycheck which came in Korean Won (their currency; sounds like 'on' with a 'w' in front) and a million won equals about $900 Canadian. That means that I am making millions but unfortunately I realized that I am spending millions too!

Korea and Mexico...long lost twins?

In my last post I was writing about my trip to the Korean Folk Village. I forgot to mention that when I was there and was watching the Koreans do their little dances and tricks on the horses, I couldn't help but think of some of my previous visits to Mexico and watching similiar types of shows there. The performers looked the same, with their dark skin and colorful costumes and the crowd even had similiar reactions as I remember from the Mexican shows (raucious cheering and awwing at everything).

Well the other day, I was supplied with one more shred of evidence that Korea and Mexico are not so different... It was a regular Thursday and I showed up to work 15 minutes early, as I always do. I went into the Teacher's Room (which has all of our desks, books and supplies) only to find that I could not even get to my desk because now there was a portable chalkboard and 4 student desks plopped right in the middle of the room. Furthermore, all of the teacher's desks had been completely cleared of books, papers and anything else we might have. I didn't get too excited about all this because you just never know what to expect in Korea so I knew there would be some sort of crazy explanation.

I went and asked the school director what had happened and he explained how the government was sending "auditors" to come see our school. Apparently when our school filed its papers with the government authorities, it claimed every room we have on our floor was a classroom. This meant that the lunch room and the tiny storage room were also "converted" to classrooms for the day! The only problem is that we don't have enough teachers to fill all of the regular classrooms plus the new additions so several of the regular classrooms were empty. I guess the auditors here are maybe not that smart if they couldn't figure this one out. The Academic Director of the school seemed real stressed out about all of this and at the end of the day one of my coworkers asked her if she was going to have to go to jail. She just sighed. You gotta love corruption! As far as I can figure, there must be some kind of financial/tax incentive to having more school rooms. Why else would you lie about that?

One more Mexican similiarity - most stores in Korea operate on a barter system similiar to Mexico. Even when you are buying clothes in lots of the departments stores, you still haggle on the price with the person behind the counter. I know that I am not good at this but I am getting better. In my opinion, this system is a good way for them to screw us Waygooks (foreigners) out of our money. Fortunately, they aren't nearly as pushy as their Mexican cousins and don't try to entice you into their stores with claims of "Korean Kmart", "Real Prada" etc...

I remember a quote from a European we met in Mexico who said that "if you looked up 'liar' in the dictionary, it would have a picture of a Mexican" and sometimes I also think that a picture of Korean wouldn't be so bad either;)

Terry Fox and Korean Folk Village

I guess it has been over a week since I last posted so it is about time! I managed to make it to the Terry Fox run despite having only a few hours of sleep (less than 5 but more than 3). It seems all night partying and jogging are not a good mix and the friend I was to go there with didn't feel up to all this activity so early in the morning. When I talked to him, he was still in bed and didn't seem too anxious to get up anytime soon so I was solo for the morning - is he a wimp or just smarter...you decide. Anyhow, there were about 2800 participants there and I'm sure there were a lot more once you count the people that did not participate. It was about a 50/50 split between Koreans and non-Koreans. I managed to do all right during the actual 10km run, but boy was I sore afterwards. It seems that 10km is a little excessive when you have not moved your body like that in at least 5 years. I was glad I did it though and it was neat to hear the Canadian national anthem being played in Korea.

(picture below: a typical home you would have found about 100 years ago in rural Korea)



This past weekend, a couple of us went to the Korean Folk Village in Suwon (about 1.5 hours south of Seoul). It was modelled after an old Korean village that you would have found 100's of years ago. I liked looking at the old houses and learning about olden days Korea - for instance how they made paper and silk and how they housed their prisoners. One thing I found particulary funny is how if children wet their bed, they had to wear a hat and go to their neighbours and beg for salt in order to show that they wouldn't do it again. I put on the hat and got a picture taken, but I will let you know that this was just for fun and I didn't actually wet the bed that night....

(picture above: me with my Ki Winnow on, getting ready to go get some salt.)

All Koreans make the peace sign when they get their pictures taken so expect a lot of pictures where I might be doing that ;)

You can find more of my pictures that I have uploaded to the internet by clicking Korean Folk Village and Fukuoka, Japan

Soon to be a millionaire!!!

Annyeong Haseo!

Well another week passed and a few more thoughts to write down.... We are well into September now and I must make comment on how significantly the weather has changed from August. Someone told me that they have very abrupt season changes and I can attest to that. August was humid, somewhat rainy and hot (all day and night). The minute the calendar switched to September though, everything seemed to change. The nights have been cooling off and sometimes so much so that I even need a jacket. The days do not get near as hot and the humidity is not even noticeable most days. It is quite comfortable now. Welcome to Autumn in Seoul!

I have been rollerblading often as of late and managed to make it to Hangang (Han River) Park a couple of times this week. I can get there right from my apartment without any climbs (not too mention that there is not many of those potential disasters known as down slopes). You will all be happy to know that the Koreans have not been able to laugh at the crazy Westerner who tumbled all the way to the Hangang (not yet anyways!) I bladed to the 63 building which is the tallest building in Seoul and back home which is about a 4-5 km journey. All this exercise is not without a purpose---I have to build up my stamina for the Terry Fox Run this Sunday! For some strange reason I have signed up for the 10km run rather than the 5km run/walk. It made sense at the time but now I have started thinking about the inevitability of an old man who really upshows me, laps me 3 times and takes an enormous bite out of my pride :( The Terry Fox Run is one of the biggest Canadian events in Korea and I am really looking forward to participating in this Canuck tradition.

Last but not least I have a few funny things from my students this week. I am sure any teacher can tell stories about funny, yet totally conceivable mistakes that their students make. One that got a laugh out of me was when I was marking a little girls writing and it didn't take me long too notice that her story had become quite X-rated. For the writing was to be about her country, Korea, and the little girl somehow had forgot that 'country' had two vowels and not just one. You can see how this might play out when you say things like how much you "love your country." Another student was to write about Birthdays and he thought a valuable piece of information would be to tell about what he would like for his next birthday. A novel idea, indeed. Unfortunately, this little boy has a habit of getting his d's and his b's mixed up, so when I saw that he made this mistake when writing about how he "hoped he would get a new bike", I knew the story was about to take a real turn.

Maybe I have a twisted sense of humour? Not sure if any other teachers can relate to this but I sometimes get a very "I am alone" sort of feeling, despite being in a classroom filled with children. For starters, I can't have an adult conversation with them and secondly, even if I could they don't speak my language. I guess I deal with it by letting my sense of humour search out things where I can have a good ol' laugh with myself...

Til next time,
CB

The Name Game

Ever wondered how an Asian/foreigner picks their English name?

The reason I bring this up is that one of my students, named Julie, put up her hand in class today and told me that she wanted to change her name. I didn't want her to do this because I like the name Julie but I allowed it because in the end it is her name. (Truth be told I was also a little worried she was going to change it to Sarah or Jenny. You have no idea how popular these names are here. In one class we are up to Sarah4 and a class without at least one Jenny is unheard of). Well what did little Julie want to change her name to.......wait for it.....it is beautiful....OK, enough suspense... ESTHER! Now please tell me you know any Esther's under 80 (or even any that are still among the living for that matter)? I sure don't. I actually had to stop myself from laughing out loud at this and all class whenever I looked at her I couldn't help but thinking about hip replacements and the Golden Girls. I guess it is not a far stretch from all the other old person names the kids have: Eunice, Joe, Cathy etc... or the totally bizarre names like Everton.

Speaking of funny name changes, two girls changed their names today to Paris and Nicole (Hilton and Ritchie, I'm sure). Wonder if they have any idea how stupid these two Americans are? I asked their teacher if they were friends and he said, "Best friends," so I guess they probably don't know that the real-life due has gone Splitsville. Also today, one of my kids, Tony, told me he was changing his name to Lampard after the British soccer player (Frank Lampard). I refused.

Before I came to Korea, my cousin told me about one of her friends who quite enjoyed naming his students because he gave them lovely names....like Beavis. Although I think this is hilarious, I don't quite have the heart to do it myself. Also we don't have many really young kids so by the time they get to our school, the majority already have names, however, there is the odd exception. My first naming experience came on Monday and it was sort of exciting! I was picking a word that this person would be called by for the rest of her life (at least in English class). I thought long and hard and the girl reminded me of a friend from school so I chose the nice, modern name of Amber (also this is unique to the school). Later on I found out that this is similar to a bad Korean word (amburro) and so she had decided to go with Nancy instead. Ah well....at least its not another Esther!

The Magic Blankets and a 6 year old Fight

In my opinion, no blog about Korea is complete without at least mentioning Magic Blankets. How did they come to be known as Magic Blankets? Well I'm not sure anyone else calls them this but what else would you call a blanket that can do everything??? I first noticed them when I was out walking in an area without a sidewalk....well at least not a concrete sidewalk. Instead the Koreans just plop down a few rainbow colored blankets and you can imagine how splendid the results must be. Next I noticed that there is a building being worked on/renovated right by house. Now during construction it often happens that debris from the building being worked on could fall the four feet it takes to reach the neighbour building and cause damage to it. Well that could happen in other countries but not to worry in Korea....they just put a few Magic Blankets between the buildings and create an instant impenetrable wall. I also had the joy of witnessing a little shanty town where the accommodations were made entirely of Magic Blankets. Apparently nothing provides shelter quite like a building made of blankets.

The list of things I have seen them used for goes on and on and I really do not have the time to write about all of them but I will let you know about a few more uses I have imagined for the blankets:
- Although I have not confirmed this event with my own eyes, from my experience I have no doubt that at the scenes of serious car accidents one of the first items of duty is to wrap the victims in Magic Blankets. Not only do the blankets have an amazing ability to soak up blood, they are also revered for their incredible healing powers ;)
-Also, I cannot wait to see the Korean Oscars to see them "roll out the Magic Blanket" in place of the red carpet. You may laugh at this but if you saw as many of them as I have you would believe it!

Since I am working at a children's school, one could assume that the 6 year old fight I referred to in the title would likely relate to some of my students. Unfortunately this is not the case. In fact the 6 year old fight didn't take place between 6 year olds at all but instead it was between a 30-ish year old couple on my floor. I have heard them absolutely screaming at each other some mornings (people talking in Asian tongues are often known for always sounding mad so you can imagine what they sound like when they actually are mad). Last weekend at about 6am the shit must have finally hit the fan because he locked her out of their apartment (#205), with himself inside. From the fact that she cried and screamed at the top of her lungs and banged her fist on the door for 45 minutes, I can only assume that she wanted back in.

How humiliating must it be for your 30 year old husband to lock you out of the house? I felt quite sorry for her but I guess I was the only one because another man on our floor came out and yelled something in Korean which I translated into "Shut the h*ll up woman, we are trying to sleep in here." She yelled back at him but eventually they reached peace and she sat on the steps of the apartment building and cried. He eventually let her back inside and from the sounds of it, it was Royal Rumble XXXV when she got back in. I am sure that in Canada, people would have likely phoned the police but for anyone who knows how traditional Korean society is and women's place on the social scale, it is easy to understand why this never happened. Women are far from equal here. I was discussing with a Korean woman at work about how many Western guys in Korea have Korean girlfriends but no Western girls have Korean boyfriends. I was not surprised to hear here tell me that the reason for this is that Korean men find Western women to be lazy and not subservient enough. On the flip side, Western men really like Korean girls because they are so subservient to their men.

Now only if that Korean woman had a Magic Blanket on hand when they got into the fight, things might have been a little different.....